Irrelevance Glorified

(note : originally written in 2002)
All right. I’ll keep this short and sweet because I have great difficulties keeping this idea eloquent if I let it become long and bitter. The great idea is : No religion until you’re 18.
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(note : originally written in 2001)

Sometimes, when I’m bored, I’ll turn on the TV. I try and not do this during the hours of about 1 to 4 pm, however, because it is very difficult to find anything worthwhile to watch. I am pretty much forced to watch either daytime talk shows or idiotic children’s shows. Not even good cartoons Continue Reading »

(note: this was originally written in 2000. Which is why it makes minimal sense now)

As we all know, I have come up with some kooky ideas in the past. Some have been lame, and some have not. Some people have even gone so far as to say that my schemes are stupid. Well, I will be vindicated with this current plan, which is vast in its scope and its goodliness. I will no longer be denounced as a child of the devil, and people may perhaps throw softer fruits at me, rather than the super-dense fruitcakes I have been bombarded with in the past.
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(note: this was originally written in 1999)

I hate meeting new people. It’s a royal pain in the ass. If I had it my way, I would never have to meet new people, only dealing with the people I already know. The astute reader is probably wondering if I realize that at some point I had to meet my current friends. Well I am aware of that, thank you very much, and I must inform you that it was indeed a painful and laborious process. To make a person a good friend you have to invest soooooo much time into them. Time that person with a busy lifestyle or a heavy workload simply cannot afford. You need to get to know each others likes and dislikes, hobbies, background, opinions, those stupid little stories that everyone tells each other, etc. And after all that, there’s a chance that you might not even like them! Then it’s just all been a waste of your time. Well, I have a solution to this dilemma, obviously, or else I wouldn’t be writing this. Continue Reading »

(note: this was originally written in 1999)

“Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
–George Santayana

“Whoever controls the past, controls the future. Whoever controls the present, controls the past.”
–George Orwell

Perhaps the first quote above is true. But certainly, it seems, the converse isn’t true. If I go to the local bookstore and go to the history aisle, I see shelf upon shelf of books to buy or browse. There’s probably even a separate shelf purely for Military History. Clearly, there are a lot of people who haven’t forgotten about history. And yet the last time I checked, people were making the same mistakes all over again. In many cases, I think that History is the problem in the first place.
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(note: originally written in 1998)

I’ve talked to a few people. No, really. I’m not kidding this time. And a few of those people are not imaginary. And a few of those few people are my age. Being the seriousness minded people that we are, sometimes we talk about our futures and what will become of us as we enter our twenties and thirties. And some of us want kids. This is almost beyond me, I must admit. I never saw the joy and excitement in waiting hand and foot on something that will do nothing but give you grief a few years down the road, but maybe it’s something to do with getting attached to something you’ve had for awhile. I know, I just lost my TI-82 of 4 years, and it physically and emotionally traumatized me. For these reasons, and more, I think that parenting would suck. Continue Reading »

(note: originally written in 1998)

Have you ever wondered why the year ends when it does? I mean, here we are, just tooling along, and WHA-BAM! We have to change all of our calendars and spend a few weeks writing new checks because we write the old year on them. The year, as it is, ends for no reason. And I have a solution to this ages-old problem. Continue Reading »