Irrelevance Glorified

In many ways, the process of growing up is just a series of disappointments. As you grow older, all the wonderful ideas and stories that you were told as a child turn out to be false, or at best, grossly exaggerated. The Tooth Fairy? It’s your parents (I figured that one out quite scientifically, by the way). Easter Bunny? Actually a wombat with irritable bowel syndrome. That thing where if you’re bitten by a radioactive animal, you will gain superpowers related to that animal? So not true. Every copy of Spider-man should come with a warning, by the way. The myths and legends that we hear about– The Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Lizard People, a franchise quarterback for the Chicago Bears — all sound so fantastic you just wish that they could be true, in part because if those things are true, than perhaps anything is possible. But sadly, however much you hope and pray that your dreams come true, eventually you have to deal with the fact that the world is mostly quite boring, and improbable things are probably not going to happen.

Until something happens to totally change everything.

I bought a Bag of Crap.

Not just any Bag of Crap, though…..a bag of Random Crap!!!

As mentioned before, Woot occasionally has Woot-Offs where they feature a whole bunch of items on sale in rapid succession. Just today, they ended an epic three-day Woot-Off that must have been quite tiring for both the people running the show as well as those who were anxiously waiting for the Bag of Crap to show up. It’s been almost a full year that post on Woot, and I’ve never gotten a bag of crap. They’ve always sold out before I could get ahold of one. I mean, once the Bag of Crap hits, the servers just get smashed as everyone rushes in, and with 4500 Bag’s of Crap with a limit of 3 per person…those bags get quickly snatched up. Sometimes, I get all the way to the order confirmation screen before the server chokes on me. Anyways, today was one of those few Woot-Offs when I was near a computer when it hit. I leapt into action, clicking “I Want One” like a man possessed. Then came the waiting game….waiting an eternity for pages to load while seeing the supply counter slowly move towards zero. Finally, I am at the confirmation screen…..server busy? Why server busy? Curse you, server! Control-R Control-R Control-R. I thought I had failed. But then, sometime later, I check my e-mail:

Your order number xxxxxxxx for 1 Random Crap has been received by Woot on 12/11/2008 and your credit card has been charged $8.00

Hallelujah! Some Random Crap is coming my way! (to streamline things, they just made the maximum 1 Bag of Crap, but in this case, 1 = 3 bags of crap).

So now, on to speculation. What will I get?

Typically, most people get random crappy things that are worth more than the amount they paid for them, but still, not so much. But there are the lucky few that get way more than they bargain for. For instance, a 65″ TV. A little while ago there were acoustic and electric guitars. Most likely, it will be something fairly modest, like this person’s haul. But just think — I finally get a Bag of Crap only about 5 weeks after we elect a black president? Man, anything can happen.

Shoot for the stars, kids.

Shoot for the stars.

Trackback This Post | Subscribe to the comments through RSS Feed